The Teacher Bro Code: Surviving the Classroom Jungle
At the end of the day, we’re all in this circus together.
Look, teaching is not for the faint of heart. It’s like being dropped into a pit of caffeinated squirrels armed with pencils and zero respect for authority. And if you’re gonna survive this chaos, you need rules—a code. So here it is: The Teacher Bro Code.
Rule #1: The Copy Machine is Sacred You see a line at the copier? Don’t even think about cutting. That’s like stepping on someone’s lawn during a BBQ. Unwritten rule, my friend. And if it jams on your watch, you fix it. You don’t walk away like some kind of sociopath. Own your paper jam like a real human.
Rule #2: Always Have Emergency Snacks Teaching is basically herding cats, and you’re gonna get hangry. Stash snacks—protein bars, beef jerky, whatever. Trust me, it’s not a question of if you’ll need them; it’s when. And don’t you dare judge another teacher for scarfing down a bag of Skittles at 9:30 AM. Survival, bro.
Rule #3: Cover Duty is Non-Negotiable We all need a sub sometimes. Whether it’s a dental appointment or a mental health day after dealing with Chad and his "funny" TikTok pranks, we get it. If a bro asks you to cover their class, you do it. No questions. Pay it forward.
Rule #4: The Hall Pass Code You see a kid wandering the halls without a pass? Don’t just wave ‘em by. Stop ‘em. Ask questions. Who are they? Where are they going? And if they try the classic "bathroom" excuse but are clearly headed for the vending machine—busted. Hallway justice is real.
Rule #5: Coffee is Life Your coffee mug is your shield. It’s the first line of defense against sleep deprivation and the absurdity of morning assemblies. You protect it at all costs. And if you see a fellow teacher with an empty cup? Offer a refill. That’s just basic decency.
Rule #6: Prep Time is Sacred You’ve got 45 minutes to grade, plan, and maybe cry in the supply closet. Don’t interrupt another teacher’s prep time unless it’s life-or-death—or you’re offering donuts. Seriously, donuts grant immunity.
Rule #7: Field Trip Pacts Field trips are a nightmare wrapped in permission slips. So if you’re chaperoning, make a pact with your co-teacher. You’ll both watch each other’s groups, trade off bathroom breaks, and, most importantly, make sure no kid ends up in the wrong museum exhibit. Trust is key.
Rule #8: Decor Respect You don’t mock another teacher’s classroom theme. Whether it’s motivational posters or a jungle safari, you keep your opinions to yourself. They spent their summer gluing pom-poms to borders while you binge-watched Netflix.
Rule #9: Back-Up Plans Are Mandatory Lesson flopped? Technology failed? Kids revolted? Doesn’t matter—always have a backup. Kahoots, silent reading, or just a random trivia session. Teachers without backups end up in the principal’s office explaining why Johnny is now scaling the bookshelves.
Final Rule: Have Each Other’s Backs At the end of the day, we’re all in this circus together. When the fire alarm goes off mid-lecture, when the Wi-Fi dies during state testing, or when some joker in 6th period unplugs the computer cart before bolting out the door leaving you with a stack of expired Chromebooks the next morning —you stick together. That’s the Teacher Bro Code.
So slap on that lanyard, grab your coffee, and remember—you’re not alone in the trenches. We’ve got each other. Now go forth and teach like a boss.
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